On the 1st anniversary of the death of this amazingly talented yet devastatingly lonely superstar I want to share with you once more my personal thoughts on losing yet another icon.
“Forgive this non-wedding related blog post but please indulge me as I wanted to share a little of myself with you today. You see I am not the world’s biggest music fan, I adore going to gigs though and I enjoy a dance and sing along like the rest of us, however as my husband would say I am more of a MOR music lover, I enjoy it when I listen to it, love the big hits but I’m not queuing outside the record stores to buy the latest new album from some obscure new artist. I love what I know and I know what I love.
Prince being one of those, what he gave us and what I have to thank him for.
For the first time ever I woke up today and wished the news that hit us last night of Prince’s death was a dream. I always wondered what on earth those strange fans cried about when a celebrity died, I mean it’s not as if they knew them or even knew all their songs. I thought these people were a different breed to me – there’s no way you’d catch my heart breaking over someone I never met or knew, what right did we have to grieve over someone we only listened to, saw at gigs and on TV.
Then last night I silently cried into my pasta.
Yes I have joined them, those people who weep openly to the cameras outside their hero’s home (if I lived near Minnesota I would be there trust me) and it scares me, why am I so upset, I don’t even know a lot of his newer work, what gives me the right to feel genuinely sad today and want to just sit and have MTV on replay? Then as I chatted to my husband last night he said something that made me realise what it is I am feeling today, of course I am devastated for his untimely death, he was a beautiful man in many ways (probably some we didn’t even know about!) and the loss of such an icon to the music industry but I am sad because I feel like my teenage years are slowly dying away.
What Prince, and David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Robin Williams and Victoria Wood meant to me was a piece of my life that I won’t ever get back, more so I feel that I am forgetting. My teenage years, the heartbreak of losing friends and boyfriends when I thought I truly knew my own head and heart (like you do when you are 18!). The challenges of school, of living without a dad, of living with a sister with special needs. All those things have now disappeared, including my sister who sadly passed away 9 years ago this week. A childhood that reminds me of who I was, who I have become and the journey I have taken to get here.
So today I am sad, really truly sad but rather than feel silly because of my upset over someone I never knew, I am sad because again a small piece of my own history has changed forever, those songs I listened to when dancing around my bedroom before school or made up dances to with my best friend. It feels like my own past memories are fading and this happens with every loss of an icon that had such an influence in my life – be this a celebrity or a relative, friend. It affects us, it changes us, it’s who we are now.
I am who I am due to my past, I intend to continue to be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons, an individual, someone who strives for a great life, to inspire others and through my work in the Wedding Industry I will bring love and support always, thanks to my icons, my heroes – you know who you are.
Thank you for indulging me and reading
Peace, love and purple …..”